Erling Haaland goes from mere goals to the world of pastiche | football

Potter (and 75), Cruyff (and 1972)

Considering the way Chelsea owner and CBS news anchor in the 1970s Todd Bohley fired his last manager for not having four squares behind his summer spending spree, Graham Potter was too brave to bench Kalidou Koulibaly and Wesley Fofana. Big Cup match against Salzburg. The center back was an integral part of Boehly’s overall bandwagon, so there was a brilliant bronze cent to the billionaire’s fighting ideas when favorite Thiago Silva blasted off to Fulham Broadway, allowing Junior Adamu to beat Noah Okafor for a tie that might – just maybe – end up costing Chelsea a place in the knockout stage. Chelsea was booed. Oh Graham! Is a 75-minute honeymoon some kind of record?

But others hit the ground running in their new club. Here’s some breaking news: Erling Haaland has done well since joining Manchester City. If you don’t count the Community Shield, which we don’t, he has scored in every competitive match he’s played for the Citizens, save for Bournemouth, and has made one at that. In Wednesday’s clash with his old club Borussia Dortmund, Haaland scored 12 times in seven matches, a success rate so absurd that he began making the scoring process somewhat monotonous. What’s the point of celebrating when you know it’s going to happen?

We’re sure a heartbreaking mystery for long-suffering City fans. Which may explain why Haaland moved from just accumulating goals and In the world of pastiche. After getting bored around him for 84 minutes, he decided to recreate Johan Cruyff’s famous 1973 Phantom Goal for Barcelona against AtlΓ©tico Madrid. At neck height, Haaland drove an improbably high kick into the top corner bypassing Alexander Mayer, an almost identical feat in ballet and gymnastics. to Cruyff’s performance To beat Miguel Reyna all those years ago. History repeats itself. Things would get scary if Mayer had a son who went on to play 394 games for Liverpool.

But what about Haaland? To paraphrase the legendary Sid Waddell, when Alexander of Macedonia was 33 years old, he cried tears of salt because there were no more realms to conquer; Haaland is only 22 years old. All is not lost, however, as The Fiver has submitted a proposal for his next art project: The Unforgettable Special Goal. He could repeat Jimmy Bullock’s famous 1998 game against Queens Park Rangers that actually sent City into the third division, perhaps, or maybe Lee Dixon’s long-range ball after David Seaman against Coventry in 1991. Maybe he should stick to Cruyff’s tradition, though. Perhaps the Dutchman scored his greatest own goal ever in 1972 when playing for Ajax against FC Amsterdam, putting the ball to his chest in a crowded box, then hitting the ball at the top left. total private target!

Fiver had always suspected that Cruyff was secretly pleased with the so patient beauty. If Haaland manages to repeat it against Wolverhampton on Saturday, we think he will be content internally with another box in the I Genius roster also identified. Can any City fan envy him? Come on, big man! Stick it there!

Quote from today

“Hello, Ryan” – Weymouth manager David Oldfield upon signing goalkeeper Ryan Sandford on loan from Millwall. Sandford will continue to make it This ridiculous quadruple memorization During their match in the Southern National League in Bath. Unfortunately the result did not affect as they lost 2-1. Oh, and Oldfield was then agreed by the door.

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An incredible sequence of events as @theterras' on loan @MillwallFC 'keeper Ryan Sandford saved Cody Cooke's injury time penalty then thwarted a barrage of point-blank efforts from the Romans in a frantic ending to Tuesday night's win

⚫️βšͺ️ #Romans pic.twitter.com/OibHHmwknK

β€” Bath City FC (@BathCity_FC) September 14, 2022

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Incredible sequence of events like Tweet embedon loan Tweet embed Goalkeeper Ryan Sandford saved Cody Cook’s injury-time penalty, then frustrated a barrage of decisive strikes from the Romans in a frantic finish to victory on Tuesday night.

⚫️βšͺ️ # Rome pic.twitter.com/OibHHmwknK

– Bath City (@BathCity_FC) September 14, 2022

five letters

Todd Boyle and the idea of ​​the ‘All-Star Game’ in the Premier League (Yesterday’s FeverA sign that he is stuck in a narrow-minded approach to football. If he wants to make a real success in terms of fundraising, he has to promote something bold and new. Imagine Wembley and in the center of the field are 20 dipping tanks, each decorated with a team insignia. The owner of the team sits a meter above the water on their respective bench, wearing a blindfold. In the stands, thousands have paid per view, while there is also an auction app called What Will You Pay? People can bid on the honor of kicking the ball on the goal of the team that drops that specific owner into a tank. The top 200 bids per owner will be able to do this, and the picks will be taken based on your bidding bid, so if you want to have the honor of being the first to dip into the Glazer, you should bid the highest. Imagine how much a dismissed manager or a disgruntled player would pay? Imagine the members of a supporter group collecting their money, so that one of them can express his feelings? Sure, it might be a long day, but between the entry fee and the auction bids, plus the broadcast rights, I’m confident this could only generate a lot more than $200 million. Especially when you realize how much a number of former St. Louis Rams fans (victims of Stan Kronk’s hoaxes) might pay to fly for opportunity.” β€” Peter Rewaldt.

β€œWe might scoff, but Boehle could be onto something. However, he thinks very little. Why not break up regionalism further to create more games? You could have teams from within London playing with each other – you could put teams from Cities against each other. They’ll need a nickname so fans know it matters. Inexplicably, I like the term “derby” – Nick Livesey.

“It seems that the positions of Cyril the swan (Yesterday’s Fever) mellow Over the years” – Gareth Rogers.

Send your messages to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always Tweet The Fiver via Tweet embed. Today’s winner with our invaluable message is… Peter Rehwaldt.

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News, Bit and Pop

Brentford’s Evan Toni has been called up From England for the first timein an ensemble that also features, in a piece of pure and uncut Southgating, Jarrod Bowen is cast ahead of Jadon Sancho.

Southampton’s Armel Bella-Kochap – who should sing in all stadiums with a song inspired by this is He won the approval of the German national team in the Nations League.

Bad news for Manchester United, who lost Jackie Gronin against Paris Saint-Germain, Proving that the lure of the women’s big trophy is too great to ignore.

Lots of numbers for the back of the shirt, earlier. Photo: Courtesy of PSG

Celtic drew 1-1 away to Shakhtar, As traveling fans expressed anti-royal sentiment. On the other hand, the Rangers sang the national anthem before their match against Napoli, who lost 3-0.

Here is a full news report from the rest of the files Grand Cup matches on Wednesday. Hey Juventus!

Scott Hogan’s hat-trick and Birmingham’s 3-2 win means Steve Bruce is Running out of the way in West Bromwich Albion.

And after his 278th reign at Oldham, John Sheridan once again left Boundary Park. “Shez will forever be a latex legend and there will be discussions about a lasting tribute to his service,” the National League team said.

Do you still want more?

The WSL League kicks off this weekend! Here is Suzanne Warak’s review.

Barney Rooney at Chelsea.

Jonathan Liu at Manchester City.

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